The Best Pokies to Play on the Loo (Don’t Judge)

Smartphones have changed the lives of Australians in countless ways. They bring the limitless potential of the internet to our fingertips, give us unprecedented access to information, aid productivity, provide instant connection to loved ones, and, for many of us, let us play pokies on the loo.

We’re not here to judge. According to a recent WorldMetrics report, 80% of people aged 18-44 admit to using their phones in the bathroom, and up to 30% of people say they never go without it. For many of us, answering nature’s call is the only private time we get. Why spend it doomscrolling, when we could be raking in wins from online pokies in Australia?

The key to perfect potty play is picking a proper pokie. That means choosing games that offer fun and big wins in a fast, mobile-friendly package. This week on our pokies blog, we dive into the games that make for ideal bathroom entertainment and let you leave the throne room feeling like a king (or queen). Read on for more!

Why “Loo Pokies” Need Special Criteria

When it comes to toilet tapping, some online pokies in Australia are better suited to the task.

Immersive storylines and exciting cut-scenes are great, but if you’re spending hours in the loo, it may raise questions with HR (or your wife, or kids). To avoid suspicion, choose pokies that maximise your winning potential in the shortest amount of time.

Dragging your laptop to the lavvy is bound to raise some eyebrows, so mobile-friendly online pokies Australia are essential. You also want to look for games with responsive design and minimal lag times.

Remember, you’re looking for fast entertainment and quick hits of dopamine, that’s why pokies packed with bonuses or with low volatility are best. Features like autoplay, turbo, or quick-spin mode offer more winning potential in a condensed period of time.

Top 5 Pokies to Play on the Loo

Here are the five pokies currently taking up our potty time:

Starburst: Low-Volatility? We Meant Loo-Volatility

This lightweight, streamlined stunner loads fast and has an auto-play feature that makes it easy to spin fast. The expanding wilds trigger re-spins in the main game, and the low volatility will give you lots of little payouts.

Big Bass Bonanza: Appropriately Water-Themed

This game is optimised for lightning-fast mobile play thanks to Pragmatic’s quick spin mode. The base game lets you catch small, steady hits while fish money symbols add extra excitement. You’ll be reeling in the wins.

Wolf Gold: Turbo Mode for When You Need It

Sometimes, things move faster than you expect. Be ready with Wolf Gold. The super-simple graphics load fast, and you can turn on turbo mode when there’s a need for speed.

Fire Joker: Spicy. Just Like Last Night’s Dinner

This simple fruit machine loads in record time, while the Respin of Fire feature keeps things exciting. This pokie has both auto-play and fast-play features, making it easy to take things single-handed.

9 Masks of Fire: Frequent Scatter Hits Keep Things Interesting

This game’s modern visuals are surprisingly streamlined. Scatter masks offer frequent, instant wins, and you can set up auto spins for quick sessions.

Playing Online Pokies in Australia: What to Know

No matter where you choose to play pokies, it’s important to stay safe.

Online pokies are strictly regulated in Australia by the ACMA, and all providers must hold official licenses requiring them to be fair and secure. Licensed casinos must also provide responsible gambling tools, offer proper customer service, and allow for dispute resolution if needed.

Finally, there are loads of casino game operators out there, but sticking to games from trusted providers like Pragmatic Play, NetEnt, and Play’n Go will ensure you have the best experience.

What to Avoid

Not all pokies are ideal for short, casual sessions. Unless you plan to drop anchor for a while, you’ll want to avoid games with features designed for extended play.

Many new pokies take a cue from video games and present involved storylines with long intro sequences, mid-round narratives, or complicated bonus buys. They’re great for entertainment value, but not for quick, casual wins.

Complicated mechanics can also slow down gameplay. Pokies that don’t have auto-play or quick spin features can make rounds take longer and eat into valuable break time. Non-mobile-optimised titles can be awkward to play (especially one-handed). Finally, high-volatility games may promise huge wins, but they rarely pay out during short sessions.

Conclusion

Squeezing out a little fun on the loo is easier than ever thanks to mobile pokies. If you’re looking to make the most of your bathroom time, avoid the heavy-hitters and instead look for low-volatility games that load quickly with built-in fast-play features like auto-play or quick spins.

Just remember to wash your hands. Happy gambling!